“The gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.”

– Homer (The Iliad)

There is an end…that we can be certain…at least in respect to the vessel in which we inhabit. I have my own thoughts…beliefs…not of God or whatever some may refer…but in all living things…an energy…force field perhaps that encompasses all life forms known and yet to be known.

My mum had a stroke in mid May. 5 weeks in hospital with the last 3 being in the rehab ward relearning basic functions and tasks such as putting the kettle on, how to cook a meal…walking. Building strength in a much weaken frame. Mum was lucky as all movement and speech returned. It was a stressful time the event occurring 6 weeks before I had my own surgery (bi lateral mastectomy for cancer).

Following mum’s return home, assistance was organised by our local health trust and the hospital system. One day cleaning and one day taking mum grocery shopping.

After my surgery and three days in hosp I returned to the island. Moved into a new flat about 7 km from mum’s place. Likely I shouldn’t have been driving or doing anywhere near what I did…I did and still do mum’s laundry and bring firewood up from down under house & other tasks as needed. A few set backs arose for me likely as I did too much…for my mum though it is without question that I will continue to do so.

Fast forward to early August. Mum collapsed & passed out for several hours. When she came to she pressed her emergency button around her neck to summon an ambo. Off to hosp once again. A week later barely able to walk unaided, Mum was back home. With a new medicine regime, she improved daily and felt like life was easing for us all.

Today mum had another stroke…a few differences in that mum knew something wasn’t right before she couldn’t move and was able to call emergency services.

The point…not sure really…I am the youngest of six essentially looking after mum whilst also rebuilding my own life. I have never asked for help and find it difficult to do so…a stubborn independent streak I attribute to my mum 😊

It’s hard saying to sibs that maybe it’s time to prepare themselves for the worst…having so many events occur in a short time frame does not bode well even though I hope my mum pulls though for more years yet.

I have faced my own mortality a few times in my short life…seen death in those I love…I am not afraid or fear death…and with those I love I’d rather they are free of pain…of a life undignified…being here in mind but not body or vice versa.

We weep not for those that have left us…we weep for ourselves…for the pain of their passing before we are ready to accept…and that is ok…it’s all about healing.

My own belief….

Life does not stop…being does not end …only within this vessel too tired to continue…or a mind too tormented…or taken by another’s hand…our very essence…our soul continues a journey…

Namaste…love & light my friends ❤️